1:53 AM

Tonight, I blog for you under the influence.

I just returned home from a night of basketball followed by even more beer. The night began at Brother Jimmy's innocently watching North Carolina squeak by Georgia Tech, on the very same Atlanta court I saw my Quakers upset the Yellow Jackets in 2001 (first-hand). Tonight continued, upon my strong recommendation, at George Keeley's, my favorite local tavern. What transpired afterwards constituted a learning experience.

Recently, I broke up with a girl I had been seeing for a short, but meaningful, time. We both wished we could be people we were not. Alas, there was nothing we could do to change reality and we parted ways. So, I used tonight as a test run to possibly "get back in the game." Basically, if there was an opportunity to talk with a few girls, I was going to take it. I felt I owed it to myself. After my friends left/abandoned me, I saddled up to the bar and decided to finish my Delirium, next to a group of somewhat-rowdy females speaking to just a few gentlemen suitors. After a few minutes, I was able to (barely) engage two of said females into something resembling a conversation.

We chatted about what brought them to a relatively neighborhoody Upper West Side tavern. They explained that they went to school together in Minnesota and were here on a fashion tour of New York City. I correctly deciphered they were undergraduates but I was incorrect in believing they were less than drinking age. After a few minutes of false conversation with two drink-less girls, I felt obligated to offer them each a beer. Not surprisingly, they both agreed. So, I was buying drinks for the same girls I was attempting to impress by dropping the few designer names I knew. However, a few minutes later, I fully realized that I had absolutely no desire to converse with these girls. To engage these early 20's mid-westerners, I was going to have to pretend to be dumber than I was. This is something I am unable to do.

I do not have the ability to speak to a girl and give her lines that would invariably peak her interest. For example, these females were only in my local bar because a guy they met claimed to be purchasing the bar in the near future. When I asked him about his future purchase and told him I knew the current owner, he quickly retreated from me, wishing not to speak with me again. However, said females didn't seem to mind as he kept telling "funny" stories attempting to keep their interest. In essence, these girls were aware that this suitor was feeding them a false story about a bar he would never acquire, but this interested them. Why? I have no idea. I am only left with one answer - many, if not all, girls are stupid and/or do not care. Plain and simple, I did not have the patience and desire to keep these girls interested. Perhaps in my earlier days, I would have had the strength. But, today, I do not.

Does this rambling mean anything? I don't think so. But, I do know that today, at the ripe old age of 3-0, I do not feel the need to impress younger (or any) females with embellished tales. I will drink my beer and wait for the wise ones, some of whom I have already met.